Abahanga bavuga ko abantu benshi bashaka abagore cyangwa abagabo bamaze kunyura muri ibyo bice bitatu cyangwa guhura n’abantu batatu mu rukundo. Bamwe muri bo bashakana n’umuntu wa gatatu cyangwa wo mu cyiciro cya gatatu, abandi bo bakisanga babanye n’umuntu uza mu cyiciro cya kane cyangwa se umuntu wa kane.

Iyi nkuru dukesha ikinyamakuru Words Of Jay, igiye kugaruka ku bice bitatu bibaho mu rukundo, ariko nanone iravuga ku cya kane, uretse ko cyo kidakunze kuba ku bantu benshi. Niba wumva ko wakundanye n’abarenze bane wenda bakaba bagera nko ku icumi, urasoza iyi nkuru wamenye impamvu nubwo baba ijana ariko bashyirwa mu byiciro bitatu.

Mbere yo kuvuga kuri ibi bice, ni iby’ingenzi kumenya ko bitibanda ku bantu bakundana n’abantu benshi bagamije kuryamana cyangwa kugira ibyo bakura ku bakunzi babo, wibuke ko ibyo Imana itabyemera, bityo natwe Paradise ntitubishyigikiye. Ahubwo ni urukundo umuntu abamo yumva intego ashyize imbere ari ugushinga umuryango.

Igice cya mbere ni urukundo rwo mu bwana.

Uru rukundo abenshi barwita urukundo rwa mbere (first love), rukaba ruza mu gihe umwana aba atangiye kugera mu gihe cy’ubugimbi n’ubwangavu, aho umukobwa aba ageze igihe cyo kujya mu mihango n’umusore ageze mu gihe cyo kwiroteraho.

Hari abana bakurana, baturanye, umuhungu n’umukobwa, ugasanga biganye amashuri abanza, bagera mu mashuri yisumbuye bagatangira kwifuzanya hagati yabo. Urukundo rubazamo, buri wese akiyumvamo mugenzi we, yatekereza uwo guhobera, gusoma cyangwa ibindi, mu mutwe we hakazamo ya nshuti ye. Abenshi birabagora kugira ngo babe bakunda undi muri ibi bihe.

Uretse abakuranye, bareranywe, cyangwa imiryango yabo ari inshuti basurana kenshi nk’imiryango, hari abandi bana batangira gukunda ku nshuro ya mbere, bagakunda uwo bigana, bakaba bamwigiraho batereta cyangwa ari we ubaterese bwa mbere.

Uko urukundo rwo mu bwana rwaba rwaraje kose, icyo ruhurizaho ni uko ruba ari rwiza, rurangwa no kwitanaho, rumeze nk’urw’Abamarayika, kuko rubamo ukwihanganirana gukomeye, ugusaba imbabazi ku kantu kose, no guhana impano kuri bamwe.

Iherezo ryarwo riba ribi, umwe kubyakira bikanga. Uko iminsi igenda ishira, abakobwa bakura mu bitekerezo ku bigendanye n’urukundo, bakifuza umusore ubarusha ibintu byinshi birimo igihagararo, amafaranga, amashuri cyangwa imyaka. Baba babona wa mukunzi wo mu bwana atabakwiriye, bamwe bakaba bahitamo kumureka.

Abahungu na bo basa n’abahumutse, bagatangira kureba mu bandi bakobwa batandukanye, bikagera ubwo bakunzwe cyangwa bagakunda umwe muri bo, bigatuma bareka umukunzi wo mu bwana kuko baba babona ko hari ibyo abuze. Ibyo birimo uburanga, kwiyitaho, no kuba ashobora kumva ibyifuzo bye birimo no kuba yakwemera guhaza irari ry’umubiri we.

Abana benshi bari gukundana mu rukundo rwa mbere usanga badakoranaho cyane, batinya gusomana no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ni rwa rukundo rw’Abamalayika. Abenshi ntibavukiye mu miryango y’Abakristo cyangwa wenda batumvira amahame y’Imana bigishwa n’ababyeyi arimo kwifata bakirinda ubusambanyi, iyo iba impamvu yo gutandukana bagashaka uzabemerera ibyo imibiri yabo yifuza.

Gusa ntibikuyeho ko hari n’abakura bagatangira gukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina, iyo ikazaba impamvu yo gushaka undi, kuko aba asa n’uwamuhaze.

Inama: Niba uri muri uru rukundo, irinde imibonano mpuzabitsina, kuko abenshi batwara cyangwa bagatera inda zitateganyijwe. Byaba byiza wihatiye kugana mu rusengero kandi ukita ku byo bakwigisha, kuko ni ho honyine haremamo umuntu gutinya icyaha, akakirinda abikunze, kubera gutinya kuzahanwa n’Imana, ahubwo agaharanira kuzabona imigisha.

Uru rukundo rushobora kubamo umuntu urenze umwe, cyane cyane ku bahungu bari kwiga gutereta, kuko bashobora kubengwa n’umukunzi bamaranye icyumweru bagahita bashaka undi, uwo bafata nk’urukundo rwa mbere akaba ari uwabemereye kubaha urukundo.

Igice cya kabiri ni umukunzi w’iraha no kwisanzura

Uyu mukunzi aza mu gihe uwo mu cyiciro cya mbere agiye. Urujyamo aba yifuza kubona ibyo atabonye ku wa mbere cyangwa yumva yararambiwe urukundo rwa mbere. Abenshi barashukwa, bakarujyamo kubera ibitekerezo by’abandi bantu.

Bamwe muri bo, ni ukuvuga abanzwe, baba bagiye mu rukundo bizeye ko ruzabahoza amarira, kuko urwa mbere ruba rugiye. Icyakora uru rukundo rubamo byinshi. Umuntu arubabariramo, akarwigiramo kubabarira kandi abenshi baba bumva ari rwo ruzabageza ku kubaka umuryango.

Uru rukundo rurangwa no guhana impano nyinshi, gusohokana kenshi no kuvugana amasaha y’umurengera kuri terefoni. Abarurimo wavuga ko baba bahararanye.
Nta kintu na kimwe rwitaho, iyo umuntu arurimo akiga muri segonderi aba yumva yava no mu ishuri aho kubura umukunzi we.

Rurangira nabi, abenshi bagatongana, ku buryo bamara igihe bakundana n’abasore cyangwa abakobwa benshi babatesha umutwe, bagamije kubashakiraho ihumure. Abarurimo ntibaba batekereza cyane ibyo kubana, ariko nubwo babitekerezaho ntibimara kabiri.

Rusenywa akenshi no kugereranya umukunzi wawe n’abandi, ibyo ubona ku mbuga nkoranyambaga n’ibindi. Umuntu uvuye mu rukundo rwa kabiri atangira gukora ibyo bita gutendeka, kuko aba asa n’uwatakarije abantu icyizere. Muri abo atendeka ni ho havamo urukundo rwa gatatu.

Inama: Byaba byiza wirinze gushyira amafoto yawe n’umukunzi wawe ku mbuga nkoranyambaga izo ari zo zose. Bigushobokeye wakwirinda kumwimariramo cyane, kuko iyo umwimariyemo akubabaza kurushaho.

Igice cya gatatu ni umukunzi mupanga kubana

Uyu mukunzi uba uvuye muri benshi watendetse, cyangwa akaba aje nyuma ya babiri bakubabaje, uba wumva ari we muzabana. Akenshi bikunze kubaho ku bantu bafite ibikenewe ngo babane cyangwa ababiganiriyeho neza.

Uru rukundo ntirubamo kugereranya, ntirubamo kwifuza ibirenze. Rubamo gukorana umwete no kuzigamira umuryango kuko abarurimo baba bumva ari urwa nyuma. Bapanga gahunda yo kubana, bakaba bakwambikana impeta, byaba byiza bagakora ubukwe.

Ku rundi ruhande, uru rukundo rushobora gusenyuka mu gihe imico y’umwe ikomeje kudashimisha undi, kuko ruba rutakita cyane ku ko umuntu agaragara inyuma, ahubwo rwibanda ku mico. Rubamo ibibazo nk’ibi: “Ese arihangana? Ese aritonda? Ese abanye ate n’ab’iwabo? Ashoboye iki? "N’ibindi bigendanye n’ubushobozi afite bwo kubaka umuryango mwiza no kurera abana neza.

Uru ni rwo rukundo rwa nyuma cyangwa umuntu wa nyuma wo mu cyiciro gifatwa nk’icya nyuma abenshi banyuramo. Iyo uru rukundo rurangiye, ntirugere ku ntego yo kubana, abenshi bahita biheba, bakumva batazongera gukunda.

Umukobwa aba akuze, akumva ko agiye kugumirwa. Ntiyongera kwizera umusore uwo ari we wese. Ku basore na bo ni uko, baba bumva ko nta mukobwa muzima ubaho. Bafata umwanzuro wo gukorera amafaranga, urukundo bakarwibagirwa.

Abenshi biyegurira gukorera amatorero barimo bagakorera amadini barimo, bakayahabwamo inshingano, no ku kazi ari ko bashyiramo imbaraga. Bamwe biyegurira inzoga, bakaba abasinzi ruharwa. Nyuma y’igihe barazinutswe urukundo, umukunzi uza nyuma bakamwiyumvamo birangira we babanye.

N.B: Ibi si ko bigenda kuri buri wese. Hari abashobora kubana bakiri mu rukundo rwa mbere, hari ababana bari mu rukundo rwa kabiri, cyangwa bari mu rukundo rwa gatatu. Urwa kane ntirukunze kubaho, ariko muri rusange abantu benshi babana bari mu rukundo rwa gatatu.

Ese wowe uri mu rwa kangahe? Ni ahawe gutanga igitekerezo kuri iyi nkuru, kuko hari benshi muhuje icyiciro. Gusenga Imana no kunyurwa ni bimwe mu byagufasha kuguma mu cyiciro cy’urukundo urimo.